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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?